Growing Tired of Calloused Knees - Chance Deville

For the past decade, I have photographed and collaborated with my mother at my grandparent’s home in Louisiana. All of the images in this project were taken within a 300 foot radius of the house, an act of stationary insanity.

“Growing Tired of Calloused Knees” attempts to carry the multitude of issues that stem from domestic abuse as a catalyst for mental illness, poverty, and substance abuse. The photographs and related material within desire to hold empathy and understanding, while showcasing the visual representations of these difficult topics. It is an attempt to understand the overbearing weight of exhaustive circumstances that surround my family in particular. It is a space that holds grief and hope for both the living, dead, and worlds imagined.

Due to my ex step-father, David, physically and mentally abusing my mother, Tammy, she was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and severe post-traumatic stress disorder. Neglecting psychiatric help, she turned to drugs and alcohol to suppress the disease. As a result of these changes in behavior and lifestyle, our relationship and power dynamic as mother and child changed drastically. This process is not only a photographic investigation of my mother, but a tool to build a new relationship with her through collaboration and documentation. These images show the tribulation of the permanent effects of abuse: poverty, disordered living, and relationships left to be rendered. Photography as a medium allows for an evidentiary result through a materialization of bodies and time that is not often felt due to trauma associated with David. These images are our reclamation — or perhaps, more bluntly, my attempt to resolve my endless grieving of my living mother.